It's the end of spring break, and while some moms are ready for their children to go back to school and get out of the house, I'm not ready for it to end.
Spring break is not only a break for my daughter, it's a break for me, a week off, because I work at the school. And this spring break, like every other break, I had big plans. Plans that did not come to fruition. Plans to get things done. Plans to read some books. Plans to enjoy some spring weather. Plans to kick back and relax.
I did not get enough done.
I did not read enough books.
I did not get out much and enjoy the weather (it was windy most of the week any way).
I DID NOT KICK BACK AND RELAX!!!
For instance, this was my day today. I got up and cleaned a little. I went to Wal Mart for some things I needed and stressed out about how much I was spending. I came home and went for a run so that I could report to my chiropractor that I did in fact go running. I planned my Sunday School lesson that I need to teach tomorrow (a good teacher would have planned it last week!). I took my dogs and daughter for a walk so that they got some exercise. I cleaned my front porch (yes! I clean my porch.) and got it ready for the warm weather. I pulled some weeds (why are the weeds green and growing before anything else?!). Then I baked cookies and goodies for a bake sale tomorrow. I stressed out about the amount of saturated fat and sugar I ate today, while I was licking the spatula (the main ingredient was cream cheese after all!!). I was hard on myself because I did not call a friend back two days ago! Now as I'm sitting at my computer I know that I have a mess in my kitchen that I need to clean up, and I feel a strong need to mop my kitchen floor because I HAVE to do it every week at least.
Now, I know I am not alone in this type of day, week, life. We are women and this is what we do. We stress about calories, about money, about lack of exercise, about our house being clean enough, about being good enough for ourselves and others. When do we take time to "smell the roses"?
Even though I am imperfect, I am still a perfectionist. A friend came over yesterday and I expressed that I still need to clean the main level of my house. She looked at me with surprise and said in disbelief "This needs to be clean?" I was left wondering why I put such high expectations on myself. I never thought of myself as an over-achiever. When did I become this crazy person who wipes down the outside of my front door instead of sitting on the front porch and reading a book?
I don't know if I am more sad that spring break is over because I didn't get all my "To Do" list done or because I did not take time and just chill out with my daughter.
Now I need to go. After all, I still have a floor to mop!
